Living with dualities is necessary, hard, and a gift…

Living with dualities is necessary, hard, and a gift…

Yesterday I went to see Danny (my dad) at the nursing home. I took my nineteen-year-old kid with me. I don’t remember how we got on the subject, but Danny started talking about a picture Robbie (my older brother) drew when we were kids. A picture of a deconstructed or...
As a former cult kid…

As a former cult kid…

A dear Second Gen (those of us born and/or raised in an extremist group or cult) friend and I were texting. I don’t remember about what. What I do remember is her response at one point. “As a former cult kid…” her text reply started. It hit me hard. I’ve been out of...
Today I’m focusing on fun and joy

Today I’m focusing on fun and joy

As we all know, my drive and perfectionism are wonky. Yes, these coping mechanisms were carved into my brain. Intentionally carved into my brain. Yes, they saved my life back then in so many ways. Yes, they have taken me far and are a huge part of who I am and,...
Speak the truth with a clear voice

Speak the truth with a clear voice

There is a church song that has been going through my head, pretty much nonstop. I mentioned this to a Second Gen friend of mine in a text chain. Her response was quick. “Nauseous” The song that is playing inside me? “I’ll never leave you anymore.” As I have written...
You have the same hair as…nobody

You have the same hair as…nobody

Last weekend at a (safe, podded) family gathering, I was sitting at the table next to my four-year-old niece. (Grand-niece actually.) She looked up at me, staring intensely, and said… “You have the same hair as…nobody!” I laughed. I loved it. I felt very seen. I’m...