BE (why is that still so f—g hard???)

BE (why is that still so f—g hard???)

When people ask me how I am, I often answer “I don’t really know.” Well, I answer, “Better. Okay or at least okay enough. Sometimes close to good. Stronger. And I don’t really know.” I’m in such a state of evolving and flux. Like I’m the caterpillar in the cocoon,...
I’m letting the ease, love, and joy seep in

I’m letting the ease, love, and joy seep in

I am definitely in a weird space, and I am letting that be. I know that so much from the last year is sinking in and crystalizing and processing, and I know that I can’t – nor do I want to – rush it. I am letting myself be with my uncertainty and awkwardness and...
I will live and thrive

I will live and thrive

It was, again, in therapy that this came to me. It is, of course, not a surprise after a cancer diagnosis and journey. (Stay tuned, it’s nearly my cancerversary!) What happens when you’re faced with a life-threatening diagnosis and journey? At least for me, you choose...
How much life do I miss?

How much life do I miss?

I am walking that balance between feeling the feels – especially on the days and moments that are (still) tough – and “distracting” or shifting myself with noticing, taking in, and savoring the joy. Some days (moments) are easier than others. And I heard from...
Don’t worry, I’ve got you – the universe

Don’t worry, I’ve got you – the universe

I am getting stronger, and I’m so not there yet. I am weary and sore and achy…and so much stronger than I was. I am so tired of being weary and sore and achy…and I’m so much stronger than I was. Emotionally it’s a roller-coaster too. Today I’m allowing the duality of...
I’m just going to let myself feel it

I’m just going to let myself feel it

Chemo is definitely cumulative. I know they tell you it is. I know I’ve experienced that it is. But this round – yes, six of six – has hit me beyond hard. It hurts to walk. It hurts to move. It hurts to type. I woke very early this am, and everything hurt. Everything...