Stepping away from compulsive selflessness

Stepping away from compulsive selflessness

Compulsive selflessness. I wish I could say the term was mine, but I heard it from another Second Gen (someone born and/or raised in an extremist group) from the cult I grew up in. Compulsive selflessness. We were literally taught to “live our lives for the sake of...
That’s the cult talking

That’s the cult talking

I believe I’ve written about this here, but it bears repeating. I have a friend, another Second Gen (those of us born and/or raised in an extremist situation), whose therapist has taught them to say to themselves – to counteract the crazy, harmful, self-loathing ideas...
A quick way to find beauty and hope in this moment

A quick way to find beauty and hope in this moment

A former client asked me the other day how I managed to do book readings without being thrown back into trauma. “Oh no,” I answered, “I relive the scenes I read every time.” “But,” I continued, “It’s okay, and it’s all worth it. I think I’m reaching people and making...
Stop trying…

Stop trying…

I’m trying to stop trying. I know how weird and backwards that sounds. Just the fact that I’m focused on trying not to try has me still trying. This is what can be so slippery about the “grooves” in my brain and finding my way through and out. I am hyperaware of my...
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems

Many, many years ago, when I was at an all-time low, someone shared with me page 449 of the Alcoholics Anonymous “big book.” “Read it,” they said. “Read it and reread it and reread it and remember it.” It reads like this: “And acceptance is the answer to all my...