Damn it! I’m still feckin’ trying so hard!

Damn it! I’m still feckin’ trying so hard!

I was in a coaching session with a client yesterday. A client who also had an extreme religious upbringing. She was telling me about how compelled she was to go out of her way to do something for her kid. “I have such a need to do things well,” she said. “I don’t know...
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems

Many, many years ago, when I was at an all-time low, someone shared with me page 449 of the Alcoholics Anonymous “big book.” “Read it,” they said. “Read it and reread it and reread it and remember it.” It reads like this: “And acceptance is the answer to all my...
What other people think of me is none of my business…

What other people think of me is none of my business…

I first heard this decades ago, in Al-Anon. I’ll come clean – I’m still working on it. The concept blew me away back then. I repeated it over and over to myself. I shared it with clients. I etched it on my brain. I thought I “got it.” But damn, this one is hard for...
Love myself most

Love myself most

I was listening to the Real Rebel Podcast – to Sheri Salata on the Real Rebel Podcast. And they reminded me about “love myself most.” I remember when a co-conspirator in my Positive Psychology certification course offered me her mantra – “love yourself first.” It blew...
How to survive a “Shame Slam”

How to survive a “Shame Slam”

Maybe you don’t know what a Shame Slam is. If you don’t, I’m very glad to hear that. Maybe you do, although you’ve maybe not named it that way. Or thought of it that way. Shame Slam – when I walk away from a conversation or situation – or maybe even nothing – and out...