How to survive a “Shame Slam”

How to survive a “Shame Slam”

Maybe you don’t know what a Shame Slam is. If you don’t, I’m very glad to hear that. Maybe you do, although you’ve maybe not named it that way. Or thought of it that way. Shame Slam – when I walk away from a conversation or situation – or maybe even nothing – and out...
Am I allowed to do that????

Am I allowed to do that????

Sometimes when I meet Second Gens (those of us born and/or raised in an extremist environment) from my cult, they ask me, “Why are you so healthy and whole? “I’ve been at this healing thing since before you were born,” I invariably reply. “It’s been a long, long...
I don’t want to be right any more

I don’t want to be right any more

Decades ago, when I crawled into Al-Anon, I first heard the saying, “would you rather be right or happy?” I have known that I “should” choose happy for all these decades, and I have tried to choose happy for all these decades. But I can still get so caught in wanting...
The sun will come out tomorrow…

The sun will come out tomorrow…

I was not a cool kid. Growing up in a cult didn’t help. When I was in high school I either listened to Church holy songs, Korean songs, or, maybe, Broadway hits. But only certain ones, like “Annie.” In fact, when I auditioned for a school play my senior year of high...
We are all survivors, and we all need hugs

We are all survivors, and we all need hugs

I saw my aunt and uncle last week – Danny’s (my dad) siblings. They had been to visit him – the first time they’d seen him in over a year – and then they came to see me. It was so amazing to be with them and to give them careful hugs (they’re both completely...