Tag Archives: blog

This is why I do this

Every so often I hear myself question in my mind, “Why do I keep blogging? What do I have to say that’s worthwhile? Should I just quit?” And luckily, soon after my questioning, someone thanks me for what I wrote or my perspective, and I think, “That’s why I keep doing this. That’s what matters.”

That matters. A ton. But there’s something that matters even more.

Last week, I got another one of those really matters emails. An outreach from another former Moonie who is looking for connection, and even more importantly, at least to me, an outreach from someone who was born into the Church and who, specifically, lived at Jacob House as a child.

“What was it like?” she asked me. “What do you know about what my childhood was like?”

I gave her all the information I had. I told her what I remembered and about my experiences. I introduced her to others who would most likely remember more, and more things that mattered to her. And then we talked about growing up in the Church and leaving the Church. About how hard both of those were. About how they still could torment us at times.

I’m older than this person and therefore perhaps further along in integrating. Or not. We all have our own journey. But as we gasped at what we had in common and agreed about how much we relished finding someone who knew what we meant when we talked about Church practices, I connected once again with someone I’d never met before but someone with whom I had such a deep bond.

And that is why I do this. That is why I blog. I blog to hopefully touch the hearts, souls, and minds of people who have experienced what I have, as well as those who have experienced entirely different things. I blog to find anyone I can who grew up in the Church, or was in the Church, so that I can remember and reminisce and deepen my understanding and integration.

I blog for every email or comment I get that says, “Thank you.” I blog for every ex-Moonie who is looking for answers and soothing.

This is why I do this.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: Writing, , , Tags:

I need your help! Please weigh in and help me decide…

Way Out is going through changes. The title is changing (stay tuned), and I’ll hopefully soon be sending the manuscript out again to search for an agent and a publishing house home.

As part of that process, I need to increase the readership of my blog. The bigger the audience, the better the book will launch. Very, very simple.

In order to grow my audience, it’s been suggested I create a giveaway for my site – something that people will get when they sign up for the blog, that will therefore make them want to sign up for the blog. And I would love your help, each and every one of you, in what I should offer.

A few ideas have been suggested to me, and they are listed below. Please let me know which of them you would like most to receive, or which you think would be most effective in bringing in the masses. Or suggest one/some of your own.

Thank you in advance! I’m excited to take this next step in birthing this baby!!


  • A download of the first chapter
  • A top-ten list of the tools and tips that have helped me survive and thrive
  • A book of coloring pages with quotes from the book
  • Recommended reading list
  • An e-book of quotes and inspiration that have helped me along the way
  • What else?
Categories: Writing, , Tags:

Am I wasting time?

Now. Now. Now. Sometimes it feels like everything needs to be done right now. That I need a few more of me, so that I can just handle this one moment and all that’s in front of me. And in my head.

Only what if that’s not true?

What if there’s really nothing, or at least very little, that needs to be done right now? What if all of it could wait?

I need to meditate, so that I stay up with the new Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra meditation series. Only, will the world fall apart if I fall another day behind? (Although I do feel good when I meditate. Maybe that one I’ll do.)

I need to write more blog posts, so that I have one to post this afternoon, and more for when I need them. Only, will anyone really really be upset if I don’t post one this afternoon? (Although I do like having some already written, so I don’t feel pressured when I’m too busy to write.)

I need to catch up on some work, even though it’s Sunday. Only, do I really have to? Other than what I’ve promised to my partner, will it matter if I let any other stuff drop? Sure I’m “supposed” to reach out to clients to stay in touch, but if I put it off a day or two (or a week), will anyone but me notice? (This one I don’t really have an “although” about, although I do feel good when I’m caught up and even ahead.)

I need to find a place to stay for my trip to Madrid with my daughter. Okay, that one I really really do have to, and want to, do.

But so many of these are made-up pressures in my head. Or self-imposed deadlines and to-do lists. And I have a choice about whether or not I do them. And how I feel if I do, or don’t do, them.

Years ago, when my daughter was in middle school, she was caught in this internal pressure to always be doing something productive. It was as if she felt she couldn’t rest. That blowing things off, and taking time for nothing important, was wasting time.

She had an amazing teacher who caught her at this. He called out the constraints and stress she was forcing on herself (or that she was, maybe, learning from me). And he taught her a very simple question, and answer, to pose to herself, when she felt like she was doing something wrong.

As she sat on the ottoman in our living room, flipping through a catalog, and felt a wave of guilt, she could ask herself, “Am I wasting time?” and then answer, “No, I’m choosing to spend it like this.”

As she lay on her bed daydreaming, rather than doing her homework, or quilting, or reading a philosophical novel, she could ask herself, “Am I wasting time?” and then answer, “No, I’m choosing to spend it like this.”

I can remember that this afternoon. I can pick up a novel, just because I’m enjoying reading it. I can look out the window at the beautiful fall trees, just because they’re beautiful fall trees. I can ask myself, “Am I wasting time?” And then I can answer, “No, I’m choosing to enjoy this right now.”

And then I’ll go meditate, and write a few blogs so that I can feel ahead.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

Categories: My Story, , Tags: