Tag Archives: gratitude

What I’m giving Thanks for

It’s that time of year.

The time of year when all, or at least most, of us give thanks. We gather around tables with people we love (or sometimes, people we tolerate) and acknowledge all we have. And stuff ourselves.

I try to give thanks every day. Or nearly every day.

I’ve found that when I notice what I have, I feel better. When I call out what’s working, I feel better. When I appreciate the big and the little, I feel better.

Do you sense a theme?

Most days I list my good things in my “good year box” list on my phone. I counsel clients to write three things they’re grateful for each day, and what they did to contribute to those things. This highlights gratitude and self-efficacy, both of which strengthen our souls and minds. As often as I can, I stop and notice…and notice…and notice all the beauty and ease and light in my life and my day. And I feel better.

I am giving Thanks for so much.

For my family. For my older child home from the Midwest. For the amazing dinner my amazing husband has prepared. For the fact that I got to cook what I wanted to cook, and I got to opt out and put my feet up and rest when I didn’t want to cook. For my younger child who’s spent some quality time with me recently. For my friends and the multitude of people I care about. For the fact that I’ve found long-lost friends and made new friends.

For the fact that this time next year, my book will be out. Did I mention that I’ve signed with a publisher and my book will be out?

I have so much to be thankful for. I want to focus on it all.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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I am feeling vulnerable. That is okay.

I reread Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection. Once again, I can’t recommend it highly enough.

What jumped out at me this time? Brené offers this self-soothing for the times when we are afraid. “I am feeling vulnerable. That is okay. I am thankful for….”

I’ve been using that, over and over, in my times of fear. (Often irrational fear.) I know that I can be overcome with fear. I know that many of my fears are completely irrational. And I know that it makes complete sense that I have some – if not all – of my fears.

But I don’t have to live my life ruled – or restrained – by my fears. I told a client the other day that I’ve learned to admit to others, and to ask for help, when I’m overcome with irrational fears. When my kids are twenty minutes late, I know it’s irrational to be afraid that something awful has happened, and I know it’s where I’ll go left to my own devices. So I nearly always turn to my husband and say, “I’m afraid, and I know it’s irrational, but I’m afraid.” That always eases my fear.

As does Brené’s self-soothing. I place my hand on my heart and say (sometimes out loud), “I am afraid. I feel vulnerable. That’s okay. I’m thankful for…” and I’m overwhelmed with the number of people and things I have to be thankful for.

I think somewhere along the way we somehow learned that we’re never supposed to be afraid, while we also learned how many rational and irrational reasons there are to be afraid. When we can let our vulnerability and fear be okay, it lessens, and it lessens its ability to rule or ruin us. When I pause and breathe and self-soothe and bring to mind even one of the many blessings in my life, my fear decreases and sometimes subsides.

It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to not feel strong or equipped. We’re usually a lot less vulnerable than we feel or think we are, and a lot stronger than we feel or think we are. But it’s okay to have fears and challenges and difficult times. And it’s okay to not have your life be defined by them.

I feel a bit vulnerable for putting this out there. I feel a bit vulnerable when I open my heart and soul in this blog. I feel a bit vulnerable when I let people in and love people deeply. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay.

I am thankful for so much.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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Be nicer to yourself

What a radical thought. Be nicer to yourself. So often, when things get tough, we (or at least I) get tougher. Hunker down. Batten the hatches. Push forward. All that usual s—t.

Instead, how about if we’re nicer to ourselves? If I’m nicer to myself? Again, a radical thought.

I’ve had a slip in something I thought I was past, and I hear that not-so-subtle “editor’s” voice in my head berating me for being here. Didn’t I just write a week ago about how I’m right where I’m supposed to be and that everything – even this – is working out for me.

At least I’m aware of my editor. At least I hear the self-criticism and blame. At least I know to reach out to someone(s) who can remind me that blaming myself is silly…and not true. At least I know how to remind myself of that as well.

Instead I tell myself, “You’re doing great.” Instead I let myself take it slow. And slower still. Instead I pause, feel the breeze on my skin, see the beauty of the day, lose myself in a book, laugh with my kid, sneak a hug in from my husband, play a game of Labyrinth (the new hot game in our household).

Instead I’m nicer to myself. And nicer to myself even more. I am convinced that many of us could use to be a bit nicer to ourselves. Maybe the new golden rule is “Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.” Maybe that makes sense.

Be nicer to yourself. You deserve it. 🙂

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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