Tag Archives: perfectionism

Just breathe

Again yoga. Again a learning. A huge learning. A duh-uh learning, but huge nonetheless.

I’m not sure if the instructor said it, or if I just thought it. But all of a sudden, as I “worked through” a pose, “just breathe” popped into my mind.

Like, just breathe. Like, you don’t have to do anything other than breathe.

I didn’t have to work through, or into, a pose. I didn’t have to move to get into the perfect stance or to fix my alignment. I didn’t have to keep fixing, and fixing, and fixing the positioning of my limbs.

All I had to do was breathe. And breathe again. I know it’s quite simple, but it felt revolutionary when I realized it.

Then I realized that “just breathe” applied to the rest of my life as well, not just my yoga. I don’t have to work through, or figure out, anything. I don’t have to move to get into the perfect attitude or to fix my mindset. I don’t have to keep fixing, and fixing, and fixing…anything.

All I have to do is breathe. And breathe again.

I don’t think this should have been so astounding when it popped into my mind. After decades or healing and working on myself. After decades of letting go of old tapes and learning new ways. After decades of finding ways to ease and slow down and live in love and joy. You think I would have gotten this already.

And maybe I have. But somehow, today in yoga, it loomed even larger, and I got it even more.

All I have to do is breathe. And breathe again. And breathe again.

Just breathe.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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Have fun with it or forget about it

I wrote a few years ago about – in my view – the importance of having fun. Of intentionally choosing to have fun.

I’m writing about it again.

In My Humble Opinion, fun is underrated. Fun is undervalued. And fun is underused.

And In My Humble Opinion, it often comes down to a matter of choice.

Someone whose opinion I value offered this in fact – “Have fun with it or forget about it.” That, I believe is a call to action. A throwing down of the gauntlet. A challenge worth taking.

It’s a drastically new approach for me for decide if something is fun or not, and then if it is to plunge into it wholeheartedly and whole-energetically, and if it’s not to walk away and forget about it. I think it goes against every ingrained grain of my psyche that lives by the “Do the work. Do the hard work. Don’t ever give up. Give it more if it’s harder. Don’t fail. Ever.” mentality.

Which is probably why it’s a great approach for me to take.

Every time I push even a little bit against my over-doer, over-achiever, over-driven being, I believe it’s a good thing. I may intentionally decide to still do, achieve, and drive, but being in the mindset and behavior by choice is freeing in and of itself.

What would your life be like if you only did something if it felt like fun? What would my life be like? What would my day be like? What would my day be like if I didn’t play by all the rules, and instead I honored my inner playfulness. If I chose the choice that seemed like it would make me laugh – or at least smile – and bring more joy and fun to my day (and to those around me).

I suppose that at some point I’ll overdo the joy, fun, play, ease, lighten up thing. But I know me. I probably still have a long way to go before I’m erring in that direction.

For today I’m going to do the things that feel like fun, and I’m going to do my best to bring fun to the things I choose to do. Or I’m going to let it go and forget about it.

It seems like a decent challenge to make of myself. It seems like a decent challenge to make of you.

Have fun with it. Or forget about it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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Can you lighten up a little bit?

And by you, I mean me.

Can I lighten up a little bit? Can I find a way to not be so serious? To not try so hard? I’m still writing about it, so I guess it’s still a challenge at times. ☺

I know that when I lighten, life gets easier. I get easier. I know that when I lighten, I am happier. I know that when I lighten, things are good.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m light a lot of the time. I’ve worked hard ☺ to be light. I’ve learned to be light about being light.

And I can still use reminders.

There was a reunion of my Applied Positive Psychology class this weekend. Talk about a lot of people who are focusing on being light. It was wonderful to hear their stories of how they’ve applied Positive Psychology practices, almost as if they’re unconscious behaviors already. “I found myself stopping to take a deep breath to calm down,” one person said. “I freak out about everything I have to do and pause and look back at everything I’ve already done…and relax a bit,” another said.

I love seeing their journeys into more calm and ease, and lightness and joy. It reminds me of my own.

I love that I live my life looking for – and seeing – the beauty in everything around me. And often everyone around me. I love that I have tools to help me not be so serious. To help me not push so hard. And I love that the tools are almost so second nature to me – after all these years – that sometimes I use them without really noticing it, or thinking it through. I sometimes use them a lot.

Yes, there are moments in life – in my life – that are hard and heavy. Yes, I still have – I may always have – challenges in my now and trauma from my past to work though. Yes, there are times when I am so filled with anger it feels as if I’ll explode or when I’m crying with sadness. And yes, I believe I need to allow those feelings, be present for myself (and whomever I’m with), and search for (self) compassion and love.

And then when it’s time, I can, once again, lighten up.

I can often – if not always – use to bring a bit more joy and delight into my life. I can often – if not always – stand to pause, breathe, and ease. I can often – if not always – benefit from lightening up even more. And even more.

I can lighten up just a little bit.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!

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